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Justin: it was like you're not quite a woman and not quite a girl.... just between
Kelsey: o jesus.... never quote britney spears again!
Justin: .......what?
Kelsey: thats a song shes sings
Justin: i just quoted her? DAMNIT
Kelsey: im not a girlllllll.... not yet a woooman.... all i neeeed is time.... blah blahhhh blaah blah
Justin: AHHHHHHHH make it stop!!!!!!!
XxRoCKSTaRR666 (2:32:27 PM): what, you need moral support? you can call me any time tonite, ok? my cell will be with me at all times and i don't care what's going on, i'll answer.... so if billy and i are doing the nasty and the phone rings, i'll be like "wait a sec" and pick up the phone and be like "ok, keep going... hey kels"
Kelsey: u know what that asshole steve klufas did? he wrote slut across my baby's face
Scott: wow, im glad im not on the phone with u. thats horrible. what an asss
Kelsey: uh yeah. it was really mean
Scott: im not laugin at all
Kelsey: yes u are! u are a mean person!
Scott: no, im most certainly not
Kelsey: o okee....i enjoy zachs dilemma tho. he was playing baby football and cracked the kids skull in half so he had to superglue it back together and he bought a hat from baby gap.... did u see that child? friggin frightening
Scott: yeah. it kinda deserved to have its skull cracke dopen
Kelsey: see my babys cute. u dont write slut on its forehead. ::siigh:: poor joe like cant scrub it off. last i talked he was gonna try nail polish remover
Scott: just be like mrs preis... im pressing charcges to put his ass in jail for what he done to my kin, fool
Kelsey: indeed. defamation of character. the child will be forever traumatized
Scott: most likely. u might as well give up on it now
Kelsey: ::sigh:: i suppose so. its not like i was a fantastic mother. sure she was dropped multiple times and kidnapped on two occasions... but there was love
Scott: i felt it when i saw u guys interact. it was like a pure spring of joy....capable of enlightening hearts and ending feuds, all in then name of sweet beauty and joy, bringing the world home again
Kelsey: yeah yeah couldnt you see it? ....... haha. i hate that baby
Kayl: eh?
Kelsey: im being friendly!
Kayl: ::dies of "friendly" infection::
Kelsey: ::cries from unfriendliness:: ::proceeds to die from suffocation after happy bubble pops::
Kayl: sa-weeeeet ::exits aol and goes to sleep::
Kelsey: so wutd u do all weekend?
Dan: sledded... and got cold
Kelsey: hm... i havwent even sledded
Dan: and played video games
Kelsey: my brains gone into hybermation. i cant do anything
Dan: ur like a grizzly bear
Kelsey: i suppose so...
Dan: good old grizzlys
Kelsey:harumph
Dan: what?
Kelsey: i dont appreciate being compared to an old grizzly bear
Dan: you are the sexiest grizzly bear ever and if no one else will, ill love you for the hot sexy bear you are
Kelsey: aww how sweet
Dan: yep
Kelsey: u need ass dontcha dan
Dan: yea, yea i doo
Gordie: bomb player with us BIG thug tupac falco and shit rock me amawho?? OD double d ice tea shamrock shake push 8th dance naked cat spin cops no pants king kong party of 5 tred mill FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD relaxxxxx no where to go pretend im speed reding ass on conversation mullet mullet I HATE MIME a letter to johny QUEST in brail not goin nowhere relax dont do it a mighty tighty whitey and im smuggling plumbs
Dan: but he does play the sax. i do too. i play the sex and the sax. well... i would play the sex. but no one will play with me... solo's are not fun with the sex
Kayleigh: one day we should just get a big wad of cash and be in bethel all day watching movies and eating sycamore stuff
Kelsey: YES! tomorrow may be that day
Kayleigh: that'd be so sexy
Kelsey: itd b beyond sexy...
Kayleigh: it'd be....
Kelsey: itd be orgasmic
Kayleigh: YES
Kelsey: like... multiple orgasms
Kelsey: im in espanol baby
Dan: <--german/japanese
Kelsey: <-- impressed
Dan: <--smells like kool
Kelsey: <-- is cool
Dan: <--smells like cool
Kelsey: <--- is cool and your smell is actually my essence oif cool thats drifted over to u
Dan: ^^ is wrong
Kelsey: ^^is wrongest
Dan: :-(
Kelsey: aww ::hug::
Dan: ::cries::
Kelsey: :pats on back::
Dan: ::burps, then resumes crying::
Kelsey: ::shrug::
JJ: ::penguin::
Kelsey: i like penguins!
JJ: everybody loves penguins! i think bears are cool
Kelsey: umm i like panda bears
JJ: of course! nobody can dislike the cute ones.... like gila monsters
Kelsey: and they eat the ugly ones
JJ: gila monsters?
Kelsey: well no... but ugly animals in general
JJ: did you know that the reason have lethal bites is because they eat and have bowel movements both through thier mouth
Kelsey: thats disgusting
JJ: oh yes, theyre terrible and people would keep and still do keep skunks as pets, you merely have to get thier musk glands removed so that they do not smell... which is a harmless process
Kelsey: hmm... theyre pretty cute
JJ: my friends aunt has one and they only eat toast without the crust with jelly on it and they take it into the dining room and grind the food into her nice rug and then eat it
Kelsey: you're joking
JJ: oh no, she has two. make the necessary changes to the statement above to chane it to plural forms if necessary...it would be nice to have an albino cotton mouth as a pet. they look nice... you'd probably have to get thier venemous glands removed... if thats possible... for safety purposes
Kelsey: mm... just in case
Kayleigh: i don't understand why people say "that smells" because EVERYTHING smells, yet we immediately think that it's negative. same with "tasty" is automatically good... i mean, what the fuck? i should become the advertising person for a bad tasting food and advertise it as being "tasty". SPAM! Made with New Pond Scum Formula: "TASTY!" i mean, i could totally get away with that
Kelsey: u totally could
Kayleigh: wow.......
Kelsey: :possibilities::
Kayleigh:mmm... scam... mmm... SPAM scam!
Kelsey: yum yum yum
Kayleigh: iiiii'm a dork. i'm gonna open up Tasty Tim's Spam Hut...whaddaya think?
Kelsey: wut would u sell?
Kayleigh: really crappy spam in different tastes and with different toppings, etc. spam on a stick, hawiian spam, chocolate spam, spam pizza
Kelsey: wut is spam.isnt it a cooking thing?
Kayleigh: it's like... fake meat, sorta
Kelsey: ewwwww
Kayleigh: yeah.... it's meat packed in a can, basically.... but i'm sure it's highly artificial
Brooke: DISTRACTION!
Kelsey: ahh no more distractions! need to do research paper!
Brooke:you should just turn off IM ::duh!::
Kelsey: NEVER! lol
Brooke: DISTRACTION!
Kelsey: wait what?
Justin: what?
Kelsey:huh? eh
Justin: woozle wazzle?
Kelsey: wha..?
Justin: whaaa?
Kelsey: iv confused myself again
Kayleigh: god damn, i really want more cleavage for tonite... i wanna look really hot
Kelsey: well if u hike it up ull look a lil perkier....?
Kayleigh: ooo i think i have an idea. I can safety pin the middle... it'll push 'em together
Kelsey: wut if he decides to cop a feel and OWWW
Kayleigh: stooooop!!! lololol
Kelsey: ...think about that...
Kelsey: Dude, it was awful. Ev comes to my house and he's holding one of my moms oversized yellow easter eggs. He's like.. I was wondering.. is this the home of an autistic child? You know... make them feel better about easter egg hunts?
Kayleigh: you know what? i don't understand why people don't pick their noses and/or fart in public
Kelsey: mm... i dont either. its a natural body function
Kayleigh: exactly and EVERYONE picks their nose. there's no use in denying it
Kelsey: i went thru a faze where i ate a lotta dried fruit. that wasnt too pleasant. iv never farted so much in my life. i do strategic farting tho
Kayleigh: strategic farting, eh?
Kelsey: i go into a large group of people and fart so no1 knows who farted.... ::sigh:: I've said too much
Kayleigh: I have gone to the zoo to steal a monkey. I am going to pull all its teeth out and train it to give blow jobs.
Kelsey: apparently i didnt have enough pizzaz
Che: darn.. i don't think anyone had enough pizzazz
Kelsey:i was too scared to remember my pizazz
Che:I don't see how anyone can grade on pizzazz
Kelsey:what kind of word is pizzaz anyway?
Che: you can't teach pizzazz, and the teacher has to be able to teach us how to improve i think it's some sort of exotic spice
Kelsey:one that we obviously lack
Che: heh. no one in the whole class had pizzazz...
Kelsey: mm... I could use some pizzazz
Clayton: what do you want to do on sun?
Kelsey: on the sun... dance and get a great tan... warm up a little bit
Clayton: christ on a cracker
Kelsey: ? ooo...lol... sunday heh.. heh...
Clayton: omg
Kelsey: try reading it aloud and trying to make it sound like ur saying it... not all the grammar like we always learned. u talk funny...use it
Erin: i talk funny?
Kelsey: u use some interesting phrases and u have a good sense of humor... use it
Erin: oh . i thought you meant i speak funny
Kelsey: Well, u do talk rediculously fast... i dont know if u can reflect that tho
Erin: ill type fast
Kelsey: excellent
Kelsey: i just watched flirting with disaster in a desperate act of boredom
Kayleigh: how was it?
Kelsey: um...mildly entertaining
Kayleigh: what's it about?
Kelsey: ben stiller trying to find his adoptive parents and the roadtrip along the way with his wife and a sexy temptress and a gay and bisexual man and their crazy antics
Kayleigh: ... wow
Kelsey: and then there was PCP maniac ex helldrivers angels turned truckers and random volleyball girls in swim suits. it was very involved
Kayleigh: omg. that's messed up
Kelsey: i know...oh and the bisexual man has a fetish for licking peoples armpits and ben walks in after making out with the adoptive lady bellerina and sees his wifes armpit being licked.while downstairs the gay police officers bn drugged with pcp and is runnign around in his underwear
Kayleigh: sweet jesus! stop explaining cuz i'm getting confused
Kelsey: okee
Kelsey: was tu mama good?
Kelly: yeah...a lot of sex though. not a "rent and watch with mom" movie
Kelsey: yeeah. i heard its pretty sexed up
Kelly: and if it's not sex then it's talking about sex
Kelsey: lol
Kelly: but as long as your mom isn't reading the subtitles, then she's just hearing spanish
Kelsey: but then its sexo er sumthin
Kelly: no no...more like....talking about their dicks or masterbation or sticking fingers up the ass
Kelsey: ahhhh
Kelly: seriously
Kelsey: por que?? por queee
Kelly: it's really interesting to hear their sentence configuration and how it's translated into english
Kelsey: mother: i think this will give me a more intense look into the mexican culture and their way of speaking
Kelly: and their porn industry. though, no it's really good. it's totally how guys are ... at one point I was like "how do thy have so much beer?": but then I realized it was mexico
Kelsey:i have to memorize a kajillion lines this week and i have like, no motivation...im such a slacker... let everything come to me ::as i lean back in my leather squeeky chair and pop a jelly bean in my mouth:: yum
Kelsey: did u know that its like daylight time? i did not realize that
Justin: daylight?
Kelsey: ya
Justin: ahhh yes. tis dark now though
Kelsey: i know. but that doesnt matter. oooo! i mean savings....spring forward time
Kelsey: i just dont know brookie.... mebbe i should become asexual. then i can spawn clones of myself off my back- thatd b pretty kick ass. they could take my SATs for me
Brooke: hmm yea it would be but you wouldnt get a belly to eat off of! actually... if you didnt have to worry about guys. then you could just get really fat. no flaw in that plan honey
Kelsey: 2 leads and 2 solos in sohpmore yr
Brooke: well im just trying to make sure my kelsey wont die of a heart attack at age 15
Kelsey: no... ill survive 15... not sure about 16. then we have to worry about driving lessons too :: weee::... then i splode
Kelsey: u know y i got the role in the women? ms nichols was like i needed things not too much of a stretch...which basically means im homey and nice and my husband will totally cheat on me after 12 yrs of marriage. im like... thanks....
Brooke: OMG thats awful! lol
Kelsey: yeah and then i go to follies and rip my clothes off and fall out of my low cut dress...
Kelsey: ahhh i have this huge ass zit on my chin i keep getting it in the same spot and it huuuurrrts...its like underneath so u cant get it. im in agony!
Brooke: aww poor dear
Kelsey: my life is just awful... im homey, have a zit, and no man
Brooke: AWW not true! well... zit and no man is true. not homey though... i dont think
Kelsey: yeah i cant cook for my life. or make like... doilies... wut the hell is a doilie anyway? y do they exist?
Brooke: to be perty in england. b/c the british are weird. thats the answer to everything my friend.
Kelsey: blame everything on the brits
Brooke: exactly darling. precisely.
Kayleigh: KELSEY! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! i went to the doctor's today. they gave me a shot, poked my finger, and made me pee in a cup
Kelsey: that is horrible!
Kayleigh: on top of all that, i'm 139 lbs. and i'm supposed to go through 4 steps:
1. stop smoking
2. no sex
3. no booze
4. only 1 junky thing a day
think i'm gonna do it? i think not.... but i brought you a sticker from the office. DUDE i got a sparkly bandaid and a sticker, so there's an up...ok, there's my schpiel
Kelsey: i dunu a bf isnt on the top of my list of things to do... im too lazy
Zach: haha. but dont u have ne like "bedroom desires"?
Kelsey: o i have many of those... quite repressed actually... that future bf will b a very lucky man
Zach: well wut do u do with these desires? pack them away like adam sandler packs away his anger? and then someday u'll explode and have sex w/ every man and woman and animal alive
Kelsey: ew!
Zach: sry maybe not animlas
Kelsey: um.. no
Zach: but women and children
Kelsey: stop it!
Zach: its true! if u keep supressing it, it will happen
Kelsey: cool...
Zach: u wont think so the morning after... they'll have to expand the jerry springer stage to fit in all the potential fathers of your children
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