|
Erin: cuz god knows im scary, i would like...bite him
Kels: kayl it was awful! the kid i was bbsitting... he had to pee
Kayl: haha
Kels: and i couldnt find his potty seat
Kayl: omg
Kels: the wang is a strange thing
Kayl: that's so funny, you have no idea
Kels: so i hold him on the toilet, like sure if girls can do it... he ends up peeing allllll over the wall!! and i cried "STOP!" and he couldnt stop. talk about serious pee projection
Kayl: omgomgomg!!! that's so great
Kels: it was awful. i made him help clean it up
Kayl: that's HILLARIOUS! how old was he? 2? 3?
Kels: ::sniff::
Kayl: awwwww did he cry?
Kels: well he almost fell in the toilet cuz i panicked when he pissed on the wall and i kinda forgot to hold him, so hes peeing and screaming
Kayl: i'm laughing so hard right now. did you get peed on?
Kels: on my arm. yuck! shortsleeved tho... it wasnt pretty. i probably traumatized him. years from now in therapy he'll be like i think Im afraid of the bathroom because when i was young i just couldnt stop peeing and almost fell in the toilet and the mean bbsitter made me clean up my own crap. speaking of which i have to pee...
Kayl: kels, that deserves to be on your infinite profile
Erin: if u call rob, ask him if i can borrow some clothes, no questions asked
Kelsey: um
Erin: you heard me sister ... dont ask him actually ... ill ask ... ill be like heh rob i have kinda an AWKWARD question...can i borrow some pants? and then we'll hear the classic "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" me and kayl are doing something - oh shit, that sounded so wrong...IM STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!
Kelly: i had a bad dream last night
Kelsey: as to wut pray tell
Kelly: mrs mcnulty was a vampire and she locked me in a room and there was this other guy there and she forced me to close my eyes and I thought she was protecting me but really that guy was just eating people in my class and she didn't want me to see
Kelsey: that wasnt no dream kel
Kelly: then i was like "gee thanks mrs mcnulty for saving my life....there's blood dripping down your mouth" and she's like "so there is" and she starts attacking me and then rj langlois and I were running around looking for wood to stab them with, it was so scary I forced myself to wake up
Kelsey: haha
Kelly: isn't that awful
Kelsey: more like funny
Kelly: yeah but it was scaryarned in health... 10 year olds dont know about STAR
Kelsey: moms on the phone.
Erin: be like "hey bitch i need the phone bitch" . good plan
Kelsey: momd b like hey bitch. no weekend for u bitch
Erin: and youd be like "im leaving bitch"
Kelsey: and then walk out the door and get locked outside in the cold
Erin: and be like o shit i cant drive
Kelsey: and then i freeze and end up like jack nicholson in the shining- mega bummer
Erin: i didnt see that movie member? : cuz the people at the party were incompitant ::spells key word wrong::
Kelsey: heh heh.... wut party - ooooo... DAMN THEM AND THEIR SLEEPY HOLLOW
Erin: hey, i had fun ... member?? when we banged on the garage? and then ran? and pretended to be rocks? and ran from ::shifts eyes:: wolf girl... is ur mom off the phoney?
Kelsey: um... yeah
Erin: AHHHHHHHHHH i spilled tea on my leg!!!!!!!!! HOT HOT HOT it BURNS im getting an x files rash! ITS ALIEN TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM DYING SAVE ME SCULLY
Kelsey: lol
Erin:THIS IS NOT A TIME TO LAUGH OUT LOUD ow... i prolly wont go to school tomorrow
Kelsey: cuz of the tea?
Erin: besides being burned to death, my throat hurts so im trying to convince my parents im sick (i have 2 tests tomorrow) (i didnt study and i dont have my east asian book) (i need it) so im gonna wake up and be dead... in which case i wouldnt wake up and therefore no tests for erin! so woody allen for me.
Clayton: oh I was chillin w/Rob K. a couple weekends ago
Kelsey: haha...y
Clayton: cause he's a cool kid....he used to date your twin
Kelsey: waaaait
Clayton: and we all just chill
Kelsey: wrong rob kaye... lol
Clayton: HAHA! no rob kraus
Kelsey: oooh him
Clayton: yeah, he's sooo funny stoned... soo dumb
Kelsey: i have no idea who this kid is, clayton
Erin: im getting married too...nvm im not
Clayton: I've got the play next weekend
Kelsey: wut play?
Clayton: Meriily we roll along -sondheim.... its really hardcore
Erin: OH! dont you think Woody Allen would be a good kisser
Kelsey: ewwww
Erin: WHY DOES NO ONE AGREE
Kelsey: hes like 80
Erin: no.... 60
Kelsey: eww! thats like kissing ur dad but an older, uglier version
Erin: and im talking about when he was like 30. hes made out with so many girls! he has to be good
Kelsey: still like kissing ur dad
Erin: no its notttt. hes geek chic
Kelsey: hm... no
Erin: yes!hes cute
Kelsey: no
Erin: why not?hes so cute! hes like rob!
Kelsey: no way
Erin: you dont thik robs cute? cuz rob looks like him- with hair
Kelsey: no. robs better looking than woody
Erin: yes. cuz hes 17 and woody is like 60... but im talking about when hes 30...but his personality is like robs
Kelsey: hm. im gonna go finish cleaning my room
Erin: fine, anti woody allen kisser girl
Kelsey: clayton its horrible... i keep getting sick
Clayton: why?
Kelsey: everytime i go to play practice. so for the first few i have no voice... the next im too sick to go... and thurs i threw up- its like ENOUGH
Clayton: haha... sounds like me in redding
Kelsey: i never throw up! and i wasnt even sick...it was just like...hm...i feel like making kelsey screw up yet again
Clayton: did you drink 2 much
Kelsey: mustv bn it
Clayton: I have the highest tolerence known to man
Kelsey: congrats... sumthing to b proud of
Clayton: haha... it is in staples
Kelsey: thats...sad
Kel: but can I copy your copy?
Kels: uhhh... here let me send it to u telepathically. There...got that?
Kel: ....no
Kel:I have the best philosophy with school. it's like "I don't care when I do it but I don't stress out because i know SOMEHOW it's going to get done" if everyone lived by that,. they'd be a lot happier
Kels: exactly its also known as procrastinating my friend- its what i live by
Kel: it's like ok this project is going to take forever... I might stay up late but ...it's still gettting done!
Paddy: i talk to people in college, apparently it's liek a huge orgy... a very long one... ahh i wanna graduate now!! you better be careful i dont' wanna see lil kelsey's runnin around for a long time. at least for like 7 years no little kelseys
none!!
Kelsey: ah! but paddyyyy
Paddy: ok fine none for at least 5 years
Kelsey: ::siiiiigh:: ok
Erin: rob is the coffee man cuz he failed in everything because he drank too much tea... you and ev and luke and owen are starring in wes andersons new movie, you and ev are married because i told you to get married, and im married to rob because it works- and suddenly me and you are both attracted to the wilsons! we both ponder affairs but we dont wanna hurt our husbands because it might tip them over the edge because their MADLY in love with us sooooooooooooooooooo much
Kelsey: who wouldnt b?
Erin: so the shooting has been going on for a few weeks until, suddenly, when evan is on set, you bump into.....luke backstage and BAM kissssss
Kelsey: ooooo
Erin: and then as im getting tea for rob (hes addicted but is on the 3 steps to quitting program) i run into owen! and BAM kisssssss... so me and you discuss afterward and we decide to continue it cuz ev and rob are both blind anyways (and the wilsons are more attractive), so eventually, the wilsons propose to us and we would be insane to say no so we accept... nows the tricky part--telling evan and rob
Kelsey: haha. little do we know, we're blind!
Erin: eh???
Kelsey: theyve actually had a thing going on for years
Erin: YES. so at the same time that we go to tell them whats happened, their going to tell US that theyve declared their love for eachother!
Kelsey: dundundunn... so of course its all very akward
Erin: so we all talk at the same time and realize that its all for the best
Kelsey: So then it works out and we have a triple wedding and live happily ever after
Erin: yes, because they left us to be gay...always seems to happen to you jk!! so me and you and the owens go live in hawaii and be happy and we have a dog named wes
Kelsey: hey now... i get luke in the end so there
Erin: yea because owen has a better personality
Kelsey: but lukes hotter
Erin: and rob and ev live as bums in nyc ... THE END
Kel: I LOVE HAVING MY PERIOD AND WORKING IN KHAKIES
Kels: yeeeah...haha. does everyone have their period this week? like jesus
Kel: do you?
Kels: yeah... and so does brooke and kayl and emma and.... other people
Kel: seriously. hey...kayleigh doesn't have it
Kels: o lol thought she did... i guess brooke just gave her a pearl tampon out of goodness
Kel: XxRoCKSTaRR666: nope. she's a liar.... though brookie DID give me a pearl tampon
Paddy: ask yer mom, be like mom, i need to make a booty call, drive me somewhere
Kelsey: thats what its come to! we were at the library today and moms like "theres a cute guy, go talk to him" im like "moooommm!!!" and shes like "you need a man honey" and im like ::mwo:: the end
Paddy: she won't mind driving you around for booty though. honestly i'm not sure how girls go about cruising for men. it can't be that much different from what guys do to get chicks...or can it....
Kelsey: wut do guys do? girls just stand around and look pretty
Paddy: ha i knew it!!!
Kelsey: ....?
Paddy: guys like go places, try to meet girls, meet a lot of them and make a lot of friends and then pick one of them to ttry to pursue somethign with guys are supposed to be the instigators, the aggressive sexy drive if girls were more aggressive there'd be less lonely people out there i swear! if you're just standing around looking pretty and a guy sees ya, there's nothing to stop him from thinkin ye be looking pretty for the other guy not for him... if girls were just more aggressive, they'd get more men... more booty calls too
Kelsey: if only...
Paddy: yeah this means you, you have to change the world
Kelsey: wow ::pressures on::
Paddy: anyway that's how you get a guy. so if you don't get one, it's your fault
Kelsey: hey!
Paddy: damn right. yep you get the blame
Kelsey: no way! i dotn like that
Paddy: well who ya want me to blame?
Kelsey: YOU
Paddy: mee?
Kelsey: yesm
Paddy: you can only blame the guy you go after and don't get a response, blame him
Kelsey: fine fine, but u gave the advice, so inadvertently its ur fault
Paddy: mmm but it's good advice. i've been called the love master and a sage man- as a 17 year old i naturally don't know shit... but somehow i know all that
Kel: no one cares about paraguay. I just like the name
Kels: mm...its nice to say
Paddy:i've got no idea if a girl is hittin on me or not, and i'm like, what el fuck! sure the guy is dense about it, but if he figures it, he's like, holy shit i'm a lucky son of a bitch
Kelsey: i like ur attitude
Paddy: it's all true! guys NEVER expect to be hit on. if they are, it's the best thing in the world since sliced bread. or maybe post its
Kels: wow. since buttered slice bread or just sliced bread?
Paddy:well just sliced
Kels: ehhh...i guess so...
Paddy:a girl jumpin on a guy in a sexual manner is the best thing since buttered sliced bread
Kels: thats pretty good
Paddy: that's like, amazing thank you God
Kels: haha
Paddy: it be true.guys never expect it. i can't remember it happening very many times
Kels: aw
Paddy: cause the guy is supposed to be the "instigator"
Kels: u betcha!
Paddy: so when the roles are switched, he's like, mega uber. well guys won't come on ta ya unless they think you may like em...but they're dense, so it's hard to let em know
Kels: thats so sad
Paddy: we're dense. i admit it
Kels: aww its alright. as long as weve got women well be alright
Paddy: yeah yeah i know. i'm suprised more women aren't lesbians
Kels: its kinda a shame
Paddy: well it's more women for me to choose from
Kels: us straight ones have to stick with these dimwits
Paddy: heh. hey! i said we were dense, never said we were dimwits. the wang is a powerful thing, and we have that power. so that makes up for being dense. at one time or another, all straight women learn that the wang is a great great thing. so ha! i'm surpised there are gay guys though, guys ain't pretty
Kels: well women get multiple orgasms so there. where the wang for that? huh?
Paddy: damn you!
Kels: haha. i win
Paddy: yes. girls can have multiple. best thing ever for yall.but noooo, the wang is a one time deal, damn you stanley... so girls can orgasm in their sleep. wonder how they found that out...... i figure she'd wake up
Kels: hey if i was orgasming in my sleep y would i want to wake up?!
Paddy: well if it was a dream... ok that makes sense. if there was someone there. you might wanna wake up to thank em.. guys wake up to a not pretty suprise
Kels: ::shudder::
Paddy: well it's just annoying cause you're like OH GREAT now i gotta change
Erin: i enjoy paddys convo with u on ur profile. its good information... so this is the plan... next guy we see JUMP on them, unless their standing and then just run and hug them and theyre be like your hot lets fuck... beauty and the beast is the best thing since sliced bread. of course it came out around the time slice bread was invented. i dont see what the big deal is about sliced bread. i dont see what the big deal is about sliced bread of course it came out around the time slice bread was invented. im gonna think of something else thats really awesome and ill inform you of what it is. ok . i have one for "the worst thing since...". "the worst thing since clothing"... mysong just skipped....its on the computer, thats not possible ::boom:: OMG IT SKIPPED AGAIN
Kels: r u jumping up n down really hard?
Erin: no no no. its an mp3! they dont SKIP...how bout just the best thing since BREAD? the best thing since water slides...hot guys...illegal mp3 sharing programs...south park...band...clowns....the list goes on and on! but sliced bread is NOT on it. the best thing since water slides...hot guys...illegal mp3 sharing programs...south park...band...clowns....the list goes on and on! but sliced bread is NOT on it... little mermaid--under the sea=best thing since disney
Kels: oo thats good
Erin: but hostess cupcakes would be the best thing since CUPCAKES.its all relative. that cupcake batter has harmed my mind i think.and i would be the best thing since adam and eve
Kels: hey now!
Rob: Moo. I'm a pirate
Kelsey: really
Rob: arr... shiver me timbers
Kelsey: ay matey... can i be ur wench?
Rob: ill be damned
Kelsey: :-)
Rob: penis
Kayl: ewwwwwww, i have really nasty dry skin. it's all on my neck and my shoulders . kels, i'm yucky... but that's what i get for taking a shower. i'm either bone dry and peeling or greasy and pimply
Brad: did you see man vs. beast last night? or hear about it?
Me: i did watch the bachelorette. i saw the commercial
Brad: they made 44 midgets pull a plane! all in all it was pretty lame though
Me: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brad: : i only saw half of it. yeah, they had to race an elephant. one of em was a dude eating against a bear. but i didnt see that. one guy had to race a giraffe and then a zebra
Me: whyyyy?????
Brad: man vs. beast!: to see who's better, i guess. and to get viewers
Me: guess so
Brad: i think someone should have wrestled a bear
Me: or a lion
Brad: yeah!
Me: or BOTH!
Brad: or in the race, he should have been chased by a cheetah or something
Me: haha
Brad: well, ill be going now. away. forever.
Me: u going to wrestle the bear?
Brad: i think ill start easier... guniea pig...guneia... giune... gueaanie...ginnie... whatever...no, but i really do have to go. i need to appease my gods with a human sacrifice. my brother should be home shortly. goodbye
Kelsey: i have lost the lord of the flies... and i was about to start crackin on that... grrr
Kayleigh: want me to read it to you over the phone before you go to sleep?
Kelsey: whered it go???
Kayleigh: where'd what go? your book? i stole it and ate it
Kels: i found it! and i found a clementine. mm...
Kayl: a clementine? is it hairy and green and smelly and soft, kels? that means you're not supposed to eat it
Kels: but it looks so tasty. i like hairy round smelly things
Kayl: lol... like balls? you'll make a man happy, kels
Kels: apparently i havent yet... i turned one gay doncha know
Kayl: if you like hairy, smelly, soft, round things, you will
Kels: im itchy today
Kayl: kels, i can't wait for our mexican island with our mexican children and our incredibly gorgeous, rich, funny, sexy husbands
Kels: me too kayleigh . me too
Erin: shhh brookes in the bathroom...wut do u think about THAT relationship
Me: slightly beneficial... yet smelly
Erin: wtf ru talking about?
Me: brooke and the bathroom... ??
Erin: no u stupid shit!
Me: ??
Erin: BROOKE AND ANDREW
Me: oh...
Me: Wayne works furiously, meticulously placing each christmas light just so. Joanne merrily works in the kitchen perfecting the sunday dinner and Kelsey sings christmas carols while prancing cheerfully around the home, waving holly and tinsel, her little dog at her heel. Ah yes...Christmas is in the air at the Bryant household...
Chris Kim: Chris Kim cries as his lazy Korean household holds no sign of Christmas or December in their 40 degree prison of a house, the breath shooting out from his bright red nose like a dragon shooting fire. The keyboard creaks with every touch of a button, the spirit of Christmas passes by 732 Redding Road without so much as a passing glance, and the small Asian child huddles into the fetal position, burning his guitar for warmth with a flashlight and his glasses. The tears freeze like silent, bitter badges of despair trickling down a long and bumpy road. The heat coming from the salinated water is actually sucked back into the surface from whence the tear came from, giving it no chance at all. Like a vampire sucking blood from an unwilling victim, the life was brought out of the two solitary tears, leaving nothing behind except shells of what were, what are, and what will be.
Brad: my grandpa bought this "cobra wood carving statue thing" from some guy in costa rica.... and he showed it to us, and its a pot pipe... its funny though, cuz he didnt realise when he bought it... he gave it to my brother
Erin: i think my parents sneak pot into my cereal...cept i dont eat cereal
Kayleigh: kels, if we were hitchhiking down a long and lonesome road, and a shiny demon shined, would you help me play the best song in the world to defeat him?
Erin: adding my ridiculous quote from before when my sadness took over and made me high?
Kelsey: mwo. i missed that one
Erin lolol wut
Kelsey: imissed that quote
Erin: wut quote. and what does "mwo" mean? is it like meow? in kelsey language?
Kelsey: the quote about u being high.
Erin: when did i say i was high? i dont get high you stoner
Kelsey: "adding my ridiculous quote from b4 when my sadness took over and made me high?"
Erin: ah yes wait your adding that? my confusion will be the death of me curiosity killed the cat stupidity killed the erin... stupidity and curiosity have the same amount of letters unless i spelled them wrong
Kayleigh: i'm back! everybody cheer!!::yaaaaaaaaaaaay:: everyone rejoices. everyone dances and sings and a parade is planned, a holiday established, days taken off of work. all are excited and buy presents for one another, throw confetti and put glass crap on dead trees, kiss under a dead tree parasite.drink booze made from eggs and nog.sing songs all about the holiday, about snow, snow, snow, sleigh bells, horse drawn sleighs, happiness and decking halls
Erin: wait wait wait can you meet yourself . i dont think you can . wow ive confused myself again
Kayleigh: if you could be doing anything, anywhere, with anyone, what would you do?
Kelsey: id b on a warm trpical beach with a georgous guy staring at the stars as the waves lap at my feet after stealign away from a group of my friends at a large bonfire down the beach
Kayleigh: oooooooooo good one i like that
Kelsey: thank you... now i wanna b there ::mwo::
Kayleigh: me too
Kelsey: y, wutd u say?
Kayleigh: i dunno, i haven't thought about it. i just ask people random questions. just to see what they'd say. i think yours sounds pretty damned good. need beach man fire NOW
Erin: that actually has no relevance to what Im talking about does it?
Annie: whats a groupie?
Kelsey: a band follower,a roadie, a bandaid
Annie: what?! i dont want to be an inamtimate object to be placed on an open, seeping wound and thrown away when its healed!
Kayleigh: kelsey, i have a confession to make
Kelsey: mhm
Kayleigh: i'm gay. and i'm in love with you. and i'm carrying max cramer's baby, but i think it's an alien
Kayleigh: mmm... max cramer's baby...
Kelsey: mm... gay
Kayleigh: wow, i want to have max cramer's baby now. we can move in together, into a cool apartment, and max can have visitation-sex rights and if it's an alien... meh, at least i got to eat off my belly
Erin: look take snippets of what ive said and put it together
blink182girl527: where is LISA
blink182girl527: spilling to H is this wise
blink182girl527: My head says it's crazy but my heart says don't trust your head. It's a lying head.
Erin: I wonder about me
Kayleigh:picking my nose, picking my nose, singin' a song 'bout pickin my nooose, cuz i'm a loser and have nothing else to doooooooo...did you know that if you're obsessed with picking your nose, you're a rhinotillexomaniac...and 91% of people admit to picking their noses
Kels: next film:claymation... kayemation. a life in the days of the kayes... laymation- the porn flick
Kel: paymation, the mob flick
Kels: slaymation
Kel: midevil flick
Kels: americanmation...u messed with the wrong woman!
Erin: i fell UP the stairs. well ONE stair i tripped and fell and was laughed at
Erin: but this is rediculus THE WORD KELSEy
Erin: literally and figurtivly ANOTHER WORD
Dan: come on, i mean i am wearing see-through REALLY short shorts
Erin: THIS ALMOST BEATS SPARKLY BOXERS AND SPONGE BOB
Erin: AHHHHHH MAKE THE QUIET STOP ITS TOO LOUD
Erin: THERE we go NOW aols working...cuz it said there were 4/33 hot guys on but really there were 7
Me: mebbe it differs in opinion
Me: wait a tick...
Kel: that's awesome dude I'nm so going to use that word. haha with yur permission of course
Me: yeah yeah...just cite me after every sentence
Brooke: home...alone...allll night...if we had something to do, yea...or someone to do
Erin: well its the angels collection, maybe if u buy that bra u can fly. i have to buy it! ern=wants to fly and it only costs $29 50
Erin: LOOK!!!! MODELS WITH CLOTHES!!!!!
Erin: im going to buy rushmore
Kelsey: when u get it im comign over
Erin: haha i have to watch it alone and secluded
Kelsey: hm. alright... personally i dont think jason schwartzman is that hot... but if u think differently...
Erin: dude im hoping its not wut i think it is ur talking about
Me: kels regains control of the keyboard
Kel: lol yay kelsey! fight for the right
Kelly: hey, if a class were being taught teaching people public speaking and how to speak well, would you guys take it?
Me: nah. itd take like one class... er mebbe you could have a little person that lives on ur shoulder er on ur tongue and corrects u everytime u screw up
Kel: I wuldn't want no martian on my shoulder
Me: id rather have a little kid. haha.... but its so coool. everyones doin it
Kel: yeah that's all you want, teach a little kid to be disrespectful and talk up to adults
Me: huh no the little man would help u
Kel: oh, the midget?
Me: mhm
Kel: cool
Me: mebbe we can stick him in a little car or a mini tuxedo
Kel: maybe we should make a class to train grammer midgets
Erin: maybe u and kelsey are weird
Erin: cuz rob is rick
Erin:: sick*
Erin: wow yeah go erin rob is rick... so yes im dating RICK
Kelsey: everything ive known is a lie..
Erin: ive said too much! KELSEY dont tell anyone i told u! i wasnt supposed to tell!!!!!
Kelsey: ur secrets safe with me
Erin: rob is rick's cover because he works for the CIA and is investigating the cattle in this area
Kelsey: oooo
Erin: its slow work, there arent many cattle
Kelsey: mm, tell him to check out easton
Erin: yes thats the area hes working on now
Kelsey: nice
Erin: im not supposed to tell though ::shh::
Kelsey: hopefully he wont catch a cold doing all that outside work
Erin: also have to be careful cuz he told the CIA that hes 25 and that his name is rick thomas but really its rob mcclung
Kelsey: gotcha... wut if the cia is reading this right now?!
Erin: theyre not. trust me. i work there too
Kelsey: along with ur multilingual dad?!
Erin: so in short, rob mcclung is undercover as rick thomas as rob mcclung the cow hustler
Kelsey: i knew u were all spies!!
Erin: and my daddy works for the CIA so i know everything. in fact im watching you RITE NOW... those lil holes in your speakers?
Kelsey: mhmm...
Erin: yeah. theyre cameras
Kelsey: ahhhhhhhh!
Erin: dont even try to escape kelsey or should i say BOB NEWHART
Kelsey: but my little momishka, little do u know i am alzo a zpy
Erin: yeah i know your little secret bob. your not really dead
Kelsey blast!
Kelsey: foiled again!
Erin: yes i know your a spy, bob newhart was a spy who faked his own death but now hes pretending to be quiet, humble, kelsey bryant in redding CT aka nothing town or maybe.... CIA HEADQUARTERS USA... mwahahah
Kelsey: no! NOOOOOO
Erin: our agents will be at your house to arrest you shortly newhart
Kelsey: dear...god...
Erin: there is no escape, your house is surrounded by a dog invisible fence...and you have a chip in your neck used for a dog
Kelsey: but..but...why?? just answer me this
Erin: yes newhart? last words?
Kelsey: tell my mom i.... ::final sigh::
*and there is no more bob newhart*
Kayleigh: where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Kelsey: broke... i wanna b an actor therefore... i have no future
Kayleigh: kelsey! the world is full of cheesy commercials and crappy off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off broadway shows!!! think of the possibilities!!one day, you could have a cameo in... get this... A SOAP OPERA!!
Kelsey: ill marry an orthodontist
Kayleigh: have 3 kids, live in the suburbs in a white house with black shutters behind a white picket fence and a puppy
Kelsey: and i come over and eat ur food and live in ur guest room
Kayleigh: no, that's your life
Kelsey: noooooo! little kids annoy me soooo much...
Kayleigh: i'll be the one lying in the alley after a night of drinking and prostitution
Kelsey: and one day after leaving the ritz my ortho hubby and i will generously drop a quarter in ur cup and ull pick ur life back up again
Kayleigh: exactly..suddenly, because of this quarter, i can be a real person again
Kelsey: haleluja!
Kayleigh: i'll go get a job, become a corporate executive and marry a man that beats me, but ends up dying in an accidental ingestion of cyanide
Kelsey: accidental mind you
Kayleigh: of course
Kelsey: and then ull have an affair with ur boss and the 2 of u will fall madly in love escape over the mexican border and drink shots of tequila romantically on the beach under a palm tree
Kayleigh: yes
Kelsey: sounds like fun
Kayleigh: and i'll end up in a shack on the beach with like, 70 birds and 8 dogs and a big hat with flowers on it
Kelsey: ooooo. and ill come and visit u in ur shack. and eat ur food. and stay in the guest room i build out of a box
Kayleigh: it will be fun
Kelsey: joy..... WAIT! backtrack
Kayleigh: ??
Kelsey: the quarter that i gave u yrs ago, in spanish currency is actually worth a fortune on a remote mexican island
Kayleigh: yes!!!!
Kelsey: so u and ur boss go and BUY the island and live there with ur little mexican children
Kayleigh: YES
Kelsey: i like that ending better, hey?
Kayleigh: many mexican, sticky-fingered children with soft wavy black hair
Kelsey: ooo, and ur mexican pool man with dark mysterious eyes and a gourgous tan and a flawless back
Kelsey: and great pecs
Kayleigh: yes
Kelsey: of course
Kayleigh: and you'll be back in CT, with your ordinary husband and your ordinary children. i'll send for you, and you and the pool boy will fall madly in love
Kelsey: i leave my ortho husband, take half his money and go and become a world renound latino sensation!!!!!!
Kayleigh: it'll be the four of us on our mexican island with our mexican, well-behaved children, who'll all marry each other
Kelsey: well all becoem inbreds and eventually die of a rare tropical disease... but at least we wouldv bn happy
Kayleigh: yes. yes indeed. mmm... rare tropical disease...
Kelsey: mmm...inbreds....
|
