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Kayl: kelsey, what would you do if i stole all your spatulas during the night?
Chris: Bush is one stupid testicle shitting rectal wart
Kelsey: not a big republican?
Erin: uh oh i made more cupcakes! HAHAHHA
Kayleigh: maybe the copy of our story we sent to god got lost in the mail... or maybe he decided to ignore it because i shot his son in the forehead
Chriskim: kelsey, if i weren't gay, i would kiss you
Me :hm... that seems to happen to me a lot
(Just for the record and for the sake of Chris Kim's future love life, he is very much heterosexual. He was just saying this for a response)
Erin: HOLY SHIT my computer screen! im attached to the computer by headphones and i just touched the screen to clean it and it like shocked my neck. hurts so BAD ahhhhh
Kayleigh: Kelsey works furiously, meticulously typing and writing the story just so. Kaylegh merrily eats her cookies in the kitchen and Elbow sings "Red" while Kayleigh is prancing cheerfully around the home, waving her hands and cookie crumbs, her little dog at her heel. Ah yes... the process of writing in Kayleigh and Kelsey's worlds
Brad: ill never understand vegetarians
Kelsey: eh, my family does it for health purposes
Brad: yeah, thats okay, but for the animal rights things, i think its stupid ... plants are alive
Kelsey: but they dont have brains...
Brad: they're still a living thing. so if something doesnt have a brain its all right to kill it?
Kelsey: lol... shhhh
Brad: heh. i say kill em all! i mean no... peace... love...blah...oh well
Kelsey: maybe ill eat u tomorrow... u dont have a brain
Brad: you'll have to catch me first
Kelsey: asbestos insulation, burt backarack. the cryogenically frozen head of walt disney, a disco ball, elephant droppings, a fetus, a jar of gonorrhea, herpes, incandescent lightbulbs, a jehovahs witness, the krebs cycle, laryngitus, a marsupial pouch, nervous test takers, an open heart surgeon, poop, quintuplets joined at the head, roadkill, strippers, a tapestry of dreams, a urethra, viagra, a wang, xavier the latino sensation, yellow crotched panties... and AND... AND... um ... ziggy the one legged pirate? a zoo of lepers?
Kayleigh: ... HA no
Kelsey: a zebra with .... polka dots instead of stripes! um
Kayleigh: ZENOPHOBICS... a zoo of zenophobics
Kelsey: wutr those?
Kayleigh: afraid of foreign people
Kelsey: a zoo of zenophobics and immigrants waiting for their citizenship. yea or nay?
Kayleigh: nay
Kelsey: hmm how bout
Kayleigh: i think... i am... going to...
Kelsey: zigurat
Kayleigh:what the hell is a zigurat?
Kelsey: its that temple in western civ for the gods... zero...zenith...zephyr... zipper...zinc zinnias... zodiac... zoomorphism...zoo... how about a zoo of zero zippered szinc zinnias
Kayleigh: kels, you're just trying too hard
Kelsey: ::hem: OO! zipper trouble ::sigh::
Kayleigh:ok, wait, give me the entire picnic?
Kelsey: asbestos insulation, burt backarack. the cryogenically frozen head of walt disney, a disco ball, elephant droppings, a fetus, a jar of gonorrhea, herpes, incandescent lightbulbs, a jehovahs witness, the krebs cycle, laryngitus, a marsupial pouch, nervous test takers, an open heart surgeon, poop, quintuplets joined at the head, roadkill, strippers, a tapestry of dreams, a urethra, viagra, a wang, xavier the latino sensation, yellow crotched panties... and zipper trouble
Kelsey: wut fun valentinesish activities could we do tomo?... we could burn pics of our old boyfriends or...exchange cards...watch movies
Kayleigh: eat things
Kelsey: yum
Kayleigh: i guess we could proclaim our love to each other
Kelsey: yes well we've been hiding that for years
Kayleigh: why the hell don't we have men?!?!?! my daddy thinks it's because we intimidate them because of our sexy, funny personalities
Kelsey: guys like hanging WITH us but not with us
Kayleigh:i know
Kelsey: were just the whole package. its too much to handle
Kayleigh:how are we intimidating?
Kelsey: i dotn know
Kayleigh: maybe it is
Kelsey: id call it more desperate
Kayleigh: perhaps so... yes
Kelsey: PLEASE for the love of god! take me now....maybe the signals arent getting thru
Kayleigh: i know
Kelsey: i always think the junior olympics is for mentally challenged people...then i have to smack myself
Kayleigh: that's the *special* olympics ... for *special* people
Kels: erin i need to write an essay on a big decision in my life. and tie it into health
Erin: hmm
Kels: ;help;
Erin: yeah. a big decision.. wait that involves health? wtf
Kels: well when i had my baby, i wasnt sure if i should keep it
Erin: omg ru joking me
Kels: but it was so damn cute...so i did
Erin: thats so ridiculous. how many people has that happened to... well, have u ever needed a leg ampuatated?
Kels: prompts are: important decision whos outcome was unfavorable. howd u ghet that decision? wut factors influenced you? wut might u have done differently....outcome successful..same thing
Erin: oh dear
Kels: or most significant nfo u learne din health thatll better ur future personal wellness
Erin: make sometrhing up, seriously
Kels: i know. its like jeeez gettin a little personal, hey?
Erin: unless your having a baby or had a heart transplant youll fail
Kels: ern i dont make big decisions! i know, DISCRIMINATION!
Erin: your parents make them for u... ok, im gonna give u the topic: on sunny winter day, you were...skiing at...butternut
Kels: and..
Erin:: no. colorado... do they have avalanches there?
Kels: in utah they do
Erin:you are now skiing in utah. so you were skiing and theres an avalanche because there was a clown on the mountain playing a drum
Kels: dangerous
Erin:: his name was bonzo. he was from the barnum and bailey circus... so anyway. theres an avalanche and you dont hear it cuz you have ear muffs on. suddenlyyou look around and theres this huge sheet of snow comeing your way!!!! you start speeding off, no more pizza wedge for you
Kels: so then i decided to use STAR
Erin: star?
Kels: i stop and think about the situation at hand
Erin:: this is a SUNNY day ass
Kels: and then act on my impulse- GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!
Erin: good job but obviously you cant outrun an avalanche your hit!
Kels: and when i reached the bottom i reflected on how lucky i was to know STAR cuz i wouldv never gotten outta there without it... o
Erin: no stupid u cant outrun an avalanche
Kels: damn. no time for reflection
Erin: im getting to the part where u win.... so your stuck under HEAPS of snow and its cold and you black out. next thing you know, your in a hospital bed and bonzo is standing over you
Kels: o god... ahhhh
Erin: you wake up and he honks his horn
Kels: ::shuder::... its snowing!!!!
Erin: then this dr named dr retard comes over and hes like "we may have to amputate your leg" but then the hot dr, dr christian, comes over and says "what are YOU doing here dr retard, how come they let you out of the asylum" and he pushes him away and says to you that you'll be fine, the avalanche only broke you legs, arms, and ribs, but luckily you have your elmo scarf on, which saved you life cuz it protected your neck then he sedates you cuz your obviously hurting like a bitch and dream of happy places where bonzo does tricks in the frisclateing dusklight. THE END
Kels: bravo
Erin: epalouge: erin marries dr christian. ull get an a with that story...dont forget to add that bonzo had a pet monkey named herman. herman blume...man i cant wait ill i have this assignment... the bonzo story is good but i think mines gonna involves carnivorus ants and homosexual parots that all have the name "george"
Kels: help me. erins no use. shes like write about outrunning an avalanch in utah
Harrison: lol foolish girl
Kels: ::siigh::
Harrison: well right about follies and how you didn't like the people at first but then realised they were good people and relate that back to health some how. lol. or something like that
Kels: but then i used STAR and stopped and thought about them and went back and acted on my impulses, got impregnated by the hottest guy there and when i reflected i decided it was totally not worth it
Harrison: yeah
Harrison: yeah
Harrison: yeah
Harrison: wait
Harrison: no
Harrison: no
Harrison: well
Harrison: no
Erin's analysis of the final product
Erin: good....... but this isnt the assignment... but its interesting
Kels: those were just prompts... i can write w/e the hell i want
Erin: really? oh then this is fabulous... i thought it had to be about clowns
Kels: does it bash school too much?
Erin: middle school yes, high school no and were in high school so they will :-)
Kels: alright then
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